Is there life out there?

Ok so this starts off with a funny story. I needed summer clothes. I went to Walmart to get some. I started to walk through the women's section (not the old peoples part as Serenity calls it) and I had to just stop and stand there. I looked around and realized that I had absolutely no clue what or how to wear most of the stuff that was out on the floor. Besides t-shirts and whatever pants or jeans I have that the kids haven't ruined yet I have no clue what fashion is anymore. So I did what any normal person would do I bought black and grey shirts and shorts and left. Despite what my husband says I am by no means old (31 is not old!). I am technology savvy and that is probably because we never really leave the house, especially in the summer. I will let you use your imagination as to what it would be like taking all 4 of them anywhere without help (kind of like WWE without the the ring). We have all kinds of games and computers and smartphones and tablets since we are stuck here pretty much most of the time, other than that I realized I have no clue what is going on in the "outside world". Sure you ask me anything related to FXS, Autism, IEP's, MFE's, Behavior Plans or anything else concerning the kids I am all over it, anything else though I am at a loss. Now this is where some people jump in and say now you know you have to take time for yourself and you have to take a break and you need some you time. Yes I know I am well aware of that but it is also easier said than done. I am also not my top priority my kiddos are so I guess the trick is and what I am still trying to figure out is how to balance it all. I may never figure it out. I may always wear out of date clothes and have my hair pulled up because I don't have any time to do it. I don't really go out late or "party" anymore. I know a lot of special needs mom's can relate to this, the problem I have is trying to explain it to anyone who doesn't have a special needs child. There is always this kind of pretend invisible barrier there that I just don't know how to break through. (I don't know if that makes any kind of sense but it does in my head) I wish I could make like a special needs boot camp so people could see what it is really like to live this every day. (sorry kind of off topic) Being a parent of special needs children can be very lonely sometimes. I have friends, many on facebook, some around me with special needs children of their own and it is still lonely some days. (kind of like screaming in a crowded room but no one hears you) I know that things won't be this way forever. Maybe one day we may be able to go to the beach or fly on a plane or I may even figure out how to wear clothes!!!!