Friday, June 14, 2013

I don't know how...You have your....You must...Don't you....You need......

Let me start off by saying that I am a brutally honest person and I guess this is kind of my disclaimer. What is written here are my feelings and opinions and only mine. It is not meant to offend anyone, make anyone mad etc etc. Now that I have said that:

Ok so having a special needs child isn't easy (3 makes it a little harder). Having children isn't easy. Well when we go somewhere like to the school or a store or Serenity has friends over I usually end up explaining our story. Granted I do not mind educating people, I like it, its the response I get after that tends to irritate me some:
        I don't know how you do it!- Ummmm well the answer to that is pretty simple. I don't have a choice. Besides my husband nobody can do my job so its not like I can pack my bags and hide under a rock (some days I would love to do that). Just to get out for a few hours requires at least a weeks notice. Please don't get me wrong I LOVE my children but like I said this job is not easy (unless you enjoy scrubbing poop off various surfaces and being hit and kicked a lot plus training in speech and OT helps too). Most days I don't want to do it! (no I am not a horrible mom this is the brutal honest part) No person enjoys being hit or screamed at or likes being stressed constantly. It isn't enjoyable. Its a ton of work and there is just one of me. So there are some days I just want to lay in bed and not get up because I know whats coming, but I get up and do it anyway because that is what I have to do.
         You have your hands full!- Pardon my language here, no s$%&! Yes they are very full. There is a reason I get a migraine pretty much everyday. I have become quite efficient at juggling 20 different things at once. I have pretty much everything for the kids memorized just because its easier that way. Oh and housework, I hate housework. I didn't used to until a little tornado named Ty who could destroy a house in 5 minutes. I can not clean fast enough but if I don't clean he eats weird stuff (I will spare the details). I need about 10 of me to do all of this efficiently!
       You must have a lot of patience!- No, no I don't. I wish I could say I did but honestly no. I do not have anymore than any other person. I get just as frustrated as anyone else would. I am impatient (ask my husband), I want them to do everything right now! No matter how much I want it though its not going to happen. So I stay frustrated and angry (yes I am angry and I am probably going to stay angry about it that is the stage I am still at).
       Don't you have help?!- Very little. This actually really surprises people. Their Aunt is our main source of help (she has 3 small children of her own that makes 7 in my house then) but thats about it. It took us 2yrs to find a home health aide for Haley that is here for 3hrs a day 4 days a week. Thats it. Other than that we don't have help. Our state offers very very little (pretty much nothing) as far as that goes. I don't think people understand how difficult it can be to get help. I can't just ask a 13yr old to watch my kids so we can go party. It has to be someone my kids know and who know my kids. When we went to Chicago a week ago that was the first time we had been anywhere in 9yrs. First time for me in 13yrs (and figuring drive time we stayed for 1 full day). It is very hard to explain this to someone who doesn't have kids though let alone special needs kids.
       Sounds like you need a break!- I would love one! Know anyone qualified to give me a break every week because I don't. I would love some time with my husband and friends that didn't require extensive planning on my part. Yes I am burnt out, I am beyond burnt out. (I don't know what term there is for that if you do let me know) I want to sit and read without Ty grabbing my Kindle to play Temple Run, watch a tv show without Haley asking for 50 different things to eat or drink, pee in peace!!!! Those things are not going to happen anytime soon I don't think.

So if you know a special needs mom out there and she is having a rough time offer your time. Let her run some errands, eat a meal, pee in peace!!!!! Its the little things!!!

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